A peek into the insanity... [current rantings|voices in my head|a look back] Insanity at its finest [ website | More of my insanity...in Xanga form! ] [ userinfo | the real me? ] [ calendar | looking into my mind ]

[02 Jul 2005|01:20am] [ The voices areSong in my head | melancholy ] [ The voices areSong in my head | The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army ] I think I may stop really posting here all that much. Most of the people I actually talk to and keep in touch with use Xanga. That's not to say that I won't miss you all, it just seems like no one really reads this. So I think it's about time for me to move on. I'll drop by here and there, but I'm not sure how much. I'll still be reading all the entries of the people on my friends list (like I always have), but I won't be doing much posting in here myself. If you want to see what is going on with me or anything, stop by my Xanga. Check it out here. It's been a blast, but it seems kinda pointless to keep two journals, especially when no one ever really comments here. 6 voices|feed the insanity

[30 Jun 2005|03:25pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | tired ] [ The voices areSong in my head | Cursive - Art Is Hard ] Ok, I'm back. Not that too many people actually read this or would have missed me anyway. I'll give a better update later, I think. feed the insanity

[27 Jun 2005|10:51pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | cheerful ] [ The voices areSong in my head | Third Eye Blind - Never Let You Go ] Just to let you all know, I'm going to be out of town from tomorrow (Tuesday) until late Thursday. If you need to get in touch with me, call my cell. That's all for now. Have fun everyone! 1 voice|feed the insanity

[10 Jun 2005|12:48am] [ The voices areSong in my head | sleepy ] [ The voices areSong in my head | The Bravery - An Honest Mistake ] This is good. It's about time someone set the record straight. If you think about it, this can easily go along with my previous post. You all should read that, too. That is, if anyone really reads my journal at all. 1 voice|feed the insanity

[09 Jun 2005|08:48am] [ The voices areSong in my head | fake ] I'm using Whitney's entry as part of my own because both parts must be seen together. You may not like what we have to say, but it is something you must know anyway. I know this is out of character for me, but that's the whole point. If you don't like it, fuck off. Otherwise, think about it, and go live your life. Read it all here. feed the insanity

[07 Jun 2005|10:07pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | ugh... ] [ The voices areSong in my head | Authority Zero - One More Minute ] So I started Calculus 3 today. Ugh. According to the teacher, he has been teaching the class for 56 years. Now, if he has been doing it for that long, you would think he would have learned a few things about what to and not to do in class. For instance, he repeats himself over and over and over again. Not only that, but it is about the stuff that really doesn't matter or that we already know (like the different meanings of the minus/negative/opposite symbol in math). Yeesh. Another thing that's bothering us (there are 10 of us in the class, and we all agreed on this) is that he never actually looks at anyone. He's either looking up above us, has his eyes closed, or is looking at his book, notes, or the board. Now, he's not the first instructor that I've had that did this, but it's still kind of creepy and annoying. So, anyway, the class is scheduled from 6-9:15. With the amount of stuff we did today, we could have been out of there by 7:30. However, due to his insistance on repeating useless crap over and over, plus making us do problems in class and then taking forever to explain how to do them even though we were all telling him the answers right away, he stretched the class out until after 8:30, and probably would have kept going if he hadn't gotten to the end of the review problems for the section. This is going to be a long 10 weeks. Not only that, but we have a test every other week. Yes, we have 4 exams and then the final. Shoot me now, please? I came very close to falling asleep in class today. Now that may not seem odd to anyone, but I have never fallen asleep in class. Ever. That was the closest I had ever gotten. That says a lot. On another note, I just found out that Cassi is no longer working at Academy. For one reason or another, she was let go, supposedly because she had missed too many days since starting. Oh well, she wanted to move away soon anyway, so this will actually help her get out faster. So...yeah, not much else to say right now. Just trying to survive work and school, as well as trying to get everything together to get back to UTD this fall. *crosses fingers* Man, I need some financial aid... feed the insanity

[27 May 2005|10:56pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | dead ] [ The voices areSong in my head | Lynard Skynard - Sweet Home Alabama ] Short note after a long day at work: I'm dead. Talk to you all later. feed the insanity

Catch up [26 May 2005|03:56pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | accomplished ] [ The voices areSong in my head | Weezer's "Make Believe" ] Ok, I know I kept saying I was going to update and never got around to it. Well, here I am to make up for all that lost time. Let's start with work. It's been ok so far. Things are starting to pick up again. Only problem with that is that I'm often the only one there or doing anything, so I end up being really tired at the end of the day. It just gets really draining when I'm the only one there and I have a whole lot to do and no help with it. Take yesterday (Wednesday) for example. I came in at 9 and there was still a lot of freight left (freight is the stuff from the distribution center that we are supposed to either put on the shelves or, when we run out of room, put into our topstock/extra stock areas). So, I come in at 9 and the other person that is there goes on break for an hour. I try to put things away, but keep having to help customers. He comes back, helps some with the freight then goes to work on a project he's been doing for the past week. So, basically, from about 11 til 5, I'm still trying to get freight done, helping customers, doing carry outs, cleaning up after people who keep tearing up the backpack and duffle bag aisles, and generally being overworked with no help. Normally, on a bad day, we don't get freight all put up until maybe noon, but yesterday it took until 5:30 to get it all done. Man, was I tired after yesterday. Other than that, things are going ok. Cassi (my best friend that I've known since high school) started working at Academy with me, but she's a cashier. So now I have to leave about half an hour earlier than I had been to be able to pick her up and get us there on time for work. Oh well. And now for some good news. Not only did I manage to survive Calculus 2 (which is supposed to be the hardest of the three) I managed to get an A on the third test and an A in the class overall! *does happy dance* I still don't know exactly what I got on the final, but I should find that out soon. But still, FREAKING YEAH! I'm happy! All I have to do now is to pass Calc 3 and I'll be set. Now all I have to do is to make sure that I can get back to UTD without issue, which I'm working on. The situation on the homefront is improving at least. My parents have been going to councelling, and it seems to be helping. They still argue, but it's not as bad as it had gotten. Hopefully they can work things out completely. I recently picked up not only Weezer's latest album "Make Believe" but I also got the special edition of the "Blue Album". Both rock immensely. You should all check it out. XD There are many more I would like to get, but I really do need to save money right now. Edit: I recently saw a couple of very good movies. The first being "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". It is hilarious. Even if you haven't read the book, it is a good movie. It does take some liberties and moves a bit away from the book, but it's nothing too major. You should all go see it. Now. The other one I saw was none other than the first (midnight) showing of Star Wars: Episode 3. Awesome movie. If you haven't seen it yet, what are you waiting for?! Go! No matter who you are, I bet you will enjoy it. That's about it right now in terms of my general life status. I'll work on the other promised entries later. Right now it's storming outside, so I should probably post this before everything dies. Keep in touch everyone. You never know when a hello will make someone's day. :) 1 voice|feed the insanity

[19 May 2005|11:37pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | tired ] [ The voices areSong in my head | Modern English - I Melt With You ] I know I haven't made a real update in a while, and today is no exception. This is just to make sure I don't forget everything I want/need to write about. To keep it simple (and not give too much away) I'm just going to post the topics/titles of upcoming entries. There will be a general entry catching up on everything since my last one. Speculative entries (in no particular order): "Hopeless Romantic" "Establising Links" "All Grown Up" "All in my Head" (not a definite entry yet) Hopefully I will have time to really sit down and write soon. I've just been really crammed with work, school, trying to get back to UTD, and other stuff (being really tired and not feeling like updating). That's it for now. Stay tuned... feed the insanity

Filler! [09 May 2005|11:35pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | tired ] [ The voices areSong in my head | Smash Mouth - Why Can't We Be Friends ] The Keys to Your Heart You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. What Are The Keys To Your Heart? feed the insanity

[24 Apr 2005|10:46pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | calm ] [ The voices areSong in my head | The Postal Service - Such Great Heights (Remix by John Tejada) ] Silently snuck out of </a></b></a>fly_little_wing's journal. Fill in, please!!!! And be honest. If you don't want others to see your answers, let me know and I'll screen comments. 1. Name: 2. Age: 3. Fave Color: 4. Fave Movie: 5. Fave Song: 6. Fave Band: 7. Most Embarassing Moment: 8. Are you a virgin? 1. Are we friends? 2. Do you have a crush on me? 3. Would you kiss me? 4. ...with tongue? 5. Would you enjoy it? 6. Would you ever ask me out? 7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater? 8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick? 9. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before? 10. Would you walk on the beach with me? 11. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me? 12. Do you/have you talked crap about me? 13. Do you think I'm a good person? 14. Would you let me sleep with you (in the same bed)? 15. Do you think I'm hot? 16. If you could change anything about me -would you? 17. Would you have sex with me? 18. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out? 19. Would you have a fling with me? 20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? 1 voice|feed the insanity

[24 Apr 2005|12:37am] [ The voices areSong in my head | cheerful ] [ The voices areSong in my head | Briefs - Naughty Naughty ] I need to update...yup...but not right now. Be sure to stay tuned. :) feed the insanity

[17 Apr 2005|10:15pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | Gorillaz - 19-2000 ] If there is at least one person in your life whom you consider a close friend, and whom you would not have met without the Internet, post this sentence in your journal. feed the insanity

Stream of conciousness, at last. (yes, it's long) [14 Apr 2005|02:50pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | restless ] [ The voices areSong in my head | Fuel - Shimmer, Semisonic - Closing Time, Hoobastank - The Reason, Goldfinger - Superman ] This is a relatively long entry, so for the sake of friends pages and such, it's behind a cut. Maybe this will help you all understand me a bit better. Or maybe it will help you understand yourself. Either way, please give it a read and let me know what you think. ( I am me. ) 2 voices|feed the insanity

[08 Apr 2005|11:12am] [ The voices areSong in my head | awake ] [ The voices areSong in my head | Me First and The Gimme Gimmes - Phantom of the Opera ] Well, I meant to make this yesterday, but I got caught up doing other things. So, with no further ado, my entry! XD For the first time in about a week, I finally feel awake. I guess that's what happens when I'm getting up by no later than about 7 every day for that time. Last Thursday I was up by 6 to take my car in, then Friday through Monday I had to be at work by 9, Tuesday I had to be there by 7, and Wednesday I was at work by 10. Talk about an energy drain. It woudln't have been so bad if it had been something I had been doing for a while, but it was out of the ordinary of my schedule for a few reasons. The schedule for this week was made by a different manager, and I'm not used to coming in on Tuesday, especially not that early. The good news is, I have this Saturday off. I haven't had a weekend day off in some time. Hopefully I'll get to have some fun for once. Oh! We have a new phone system at work now. Each department now has a handheld phone as well as the mounted units. That should help, but it would have been nice for everyone to have their own handheld. Oh well. Maybe eventually. Now all we have to do is get used to the new terminology and setup of the phones. Wish us luck! :p My right shoulder is still hurting, and I don't know why. It's been kind of tight for...I guess about a month now. I keep feeling like if I could just pop it in a certain way, it would feel better. I've managed to pop it or work it out a few times to make it feel better for a little why, but it doesn't stay gone. I don't know what the deal is. I'm gonna try a couple more things then I may have to go see the doctor. Hopefully it's nothing too bad. The home situation is getting a bit better. The parental units aren't arguing as much as they had been. I still haven't heard anything about the counceling situation, so we'll see what happens. Hopefully things will get better. Calc is actually going pretty well. I currently have an A in the class. W00T! And...HOLY FREAKIN' YEAH! The next test will be, get this....A TAKE HOME TEST! How sweet is that? You can't get any better than that for a class like this. Then again, everyone should get an A on it or there is something really wrong going on. Oh well. I think I can handle it. ^.^ Don't foget to leave your suggestions on my previous entry! I really need new books, most of all. I've already read all of mine at least 3 times each (that includes the comic books). Anyway, it's time for me to start getting ready for work. I hope everyone has a good day. This is Insanity at its Finest, signing out. feed the insanity

[07 Apr 2005|12:08am] [ The voices areSong in my head | drained ] [ The voices areSong in my head | Radiohead - Talk Show Host ] Quick filler entry until I get the energy to do more. I'm trying to broaden my horizons and find things to fill my time. So do the following. I want you to suggest things for me: One movie in theaters: Two movies on dvd/video: Two books: Three songs: One television show: Two new websites: I'm keeping the numbers low because I haven't had much time to do anything really of late. You may suggest more, but put your top choices at the beginning so I go for them first. The rest will be done as more time becomes available. I'll post my thoughts on each thing as I check them out. 1 voice|feed the insanity

[01 Apr 2005|12:58am] [ The voices areSong in my head | sleepy ] Ugh. Well, there went a nice chunk of my bank account. Confused? I took my car in to get it checked out and it ended up costing me over $1k for break repair and other maintanance. *sigh* And I was doing so well on saving my money. Guess that means I'm gonna have to try and get in every little bit of overtime that I can (if I can). Anyway, things are going about as well as usual. Drama at work still between my immediate superior and one of the other people on staff. They really need to just talk things out. And she (my boss) really needs to just chill sometimes. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it other than just make sure I do my job like I should (though sometimes it seems like I'm the only one in my departmen that is really trying). Calc 2 is going ok so far. I got a 77 on my first test, but was able to bring it up to a 92. I got a 84 on the second test and should be able to get it up to a 93. That's a good sign. If I can keep this up and do decently through Calc 3, I should have no issues about going back to UTD in the fall (unless I have to deal with re-enrolling or some other bureaucratic bs). *crosses fingers* I really want to be back in Dallas. Now I just need to get my act together and try to get scholorships, grants, or loans to help pay for school and start looking into where I'm going to stay when I move back up there. I really don't know what else to say here. I'm really thirsty right now, so I'm gonna go down the rest of my second bottle of water this hour. I haven't felt like this in some time. Wonder what's going on. I know I'm trying to drink more water, but this is a bit much. Then again, I need to start exercising, too. I just never feel like taking the time. We're trying to get an Ab-Lounger, so maybe if/when we get that I can really start getting into a decent routine. Just working at Academy has made me drop about 20 pounds. All of my female friends want to kill me now. :-p I want to finish what that started and tone my stomach and chest, as well as work on my upper arms. My upper arm strength has never been the best and I want to change that. I really need to stop being a lazy bum and work on being up by no later than 9 every day, whether I have work or not. It's just really hard to do that when I can't fall asleep until at least 2 AM. That is another thing. The last few days, I have gotten very little sleep. I'm not sure if it's my insomnia acting up again or what, but a couple of nights ago, I went to bed at 2, fell asleep around 4 or so, slept off and on until about 7, then finally slept through to about 10:30. Then today, I went to bed at about 2, woke up at 4, went back to sleep til about 6:30 (I took my car in at about 7), came back home and went back to bed at 9:45, woke up at 10:45 to go pick up my car, got back home at about 11:30 and went back to bed until 1 (yay for rambling!). That screwed me up for the rest of the day majorly (for a while I thought it was Friday, then I thought it was Wednesday, but I finally got caught up). Maybe I'll sleep a bit better tonight. It's about 1 now and I have to be up by no later than 8 to be at work by 9. My dreams have also become increasingly weird, but that is for another day. If you want to know sooner, you can ask. Otherwise, here's the quick overview: odd poker chips, Lent, and people coming back for an odd party. Those are 3 different dreams and really just notes to myself so I don't forget them. If you want to try and make sense of it, go for it, but you don't know the whole story of any of them so good luck. Well, I've rambled enough for one entry. I'm off to bed and maybe to sleep. We'll see. Moo. PS. If you use MSN Messenger, you should get the latest version of Messenger Plus! It's got lots of cool features, but you can only send them to other people who have the add-on. You want it? Check it out here and you could win cool stuff, too. feed the insanity

[28 Mar 2005|11:51pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | uncomfortable ] Ok, I know at least a couple of you are confused as to what some of my previous entries were all about. Well, here it is. A bit of background: For as long as I can remember, my parents have argued from time to time, usually rather heatedly. Recently, my dad got quite sick and was out of work for about two and a half months (give or take). During that time, tensions around the house mounted. Things came to a head last week, and my mom talked to an attourney about possibly filing for divorce. Luckily, it hasn't come to that (yet). Things still aren't great around here, but instead of going through with the divorce right now, they are looking into marriage counceling. I hope it helps. My mom also suggested that I go to counceling as well. I'm still not sure about the whole thing, but it may be useful. My mom thinks I need it to help deal with what's been going on with them, but honestly, I understand what is going on and it isn't my problem. However, maybe it would be good to help with some of my other issues. We'll see what happens and if I even end up going through with it. So, that's what was going on. They are still arguing, and the divorce is still a high possibility, but it's been put on hold for the time being. Here's to hoping it doesn't happen at all. *crosses fingers* feed the insanity

[28 Mar 2005|10:11pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | tired ] You know, I knew that was going to happen. You Are 50% Left Brained, 50% Right Brained The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. Are You Right or Left Brained? feed the insanity

[25 Mar 2005|12:50pm] [ The voices areSong in my head | sad ] My family is crashing down around me. 1 voice|feed the insanity

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